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What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviours used by one person in a relationship to control, coerce, threaten or use threatening behaviour or violence on another person within the home or somewhere outside of the home.

Domestic abuse can happen regardless of ethnic background, religion, age, class, sexuality or disability and it can occur in all kinds of relationships including heterosexual, gay, lesbian, transgendered partnerships and within extended families.

The abuse and/or violence can take many forms and may happen once in a while or more often and sometimes even every day. The perpetrator could also use religion and culture as a way to justify the abuse and what they are doing.

If you are experiencing abuse or are worried that you are being abused and want a confidential chat, please call us on our multi-lingual freephone number 0800 055 6519

  • Coercive control is behaviour or a pattern of behaviour that includes threats, humiliation, assaults and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.

    This type of controlling behaviour is used to make a person dependent on the perpetrator through isolating them from support, exploiting them, removing their independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.

    • Through name-calling, put downs, mind games and/or gaslighting.
    • This form of abuse may cause the survivor to feel depressed, anxious, stressed and worried and affect their confidence and self-esteem.
  • This is a procedure used in some cultures to intentionally cut or injure the female genitals.  The most frequent reasons for this procedure are religion, protecting a girl’s virginity, social acceptance and hygiene misunderstandings. There is no medical reason for this illegal procedure which can cause severe pain and health consequences and long-lasting effects on the victim throughout their life. In the UK, female genital mutilation is illegal.

    Panahghar can provide non-judgmental advice and support for victims and professionals supporting victims affected by FGM. Contact us on our 24 hour helpline on 0800 055 6519.

    • Controlling a victim’s financial resources.
    • Stopping someone from working or keeping a job.
    • Taking a victim’s wages or personal finances.
    • Controlling when and where a victim can use their money.
    • Not allowing access to bank accounts or not helping to understand the household’s finances.
  • Many young people are forced into marrying someone against their will.  In the UK, forced marriages are illegal. Consent is not given by the victim to marry and abuse is used in order to force them to get married. Pressure is put upon them or ‘honour’ is used to ensure that they go ahead with what the perpetrators want. This may be in the form of young girls taken abroad by their family under false pretences. They are told they are going on holiday when in reality they are taken to get married.

    You have the right to choose who you marry, when you marry or if you marry at all.

    Forced marriage is when you face physical or emotional pressure to marry and/or you do not consent to the marriage. For example, through threats, physical or sexual violence, you’re made to feel like you’re bringing shame and disgrace on your family if you don’t do as they say.

    Many young people are forced into marrying someone against their will. This may be in the form of young girls taken abroad by their family under false pretences. They are told they are going on holiday when they are actually been taken to get married without their knowledge.

    Forced Marriage Protection Orders can be requested from the courts. For example, the court may order someone to hand over your passport or reveal where you are to protect you.

    If you or someone you know is at risk of forced marriage or ‘honour’ based abuse please contact us on the West Midlands Forced Marriage and ‘Honour’ Based Abuse Helpline on 0800 953 9777.

    Support is available 7 days a week and is also available for practitioner’s seeking information and guidance on forced marriage or ‘honour’ based abuse. We also offer outreach support too.

  • Violence used to protect the families honour is another challenge some victim’s may face in the BME community. Should victims do something which jeopardises the honour of their family, it could lead to extreme danger for the victim and in some cases death. Perpetrators threaten dangerous consequences resulting in the victim doing exactly what they say regardless of the victim’s consent.

    The Crown Prosecution Service describes ‘honour’ based abuse as an incident or crime “which has, or may have, been committed to protect or defend the ‘honour’ of the family and or the community.”

    Protecting ‘honour’ (Izzat, Ghairat, Namus or Sharam), in BME communities, is of the upmost importance. Many women and girls are therefore subjected to many forms of abuse to uphold honour for themselves and their families in the potential form of;

    • Forced marriage
    • Domestic violence (physical, sexual, emotional or financial abuse)
    • Threats to kill
    • Social shunning or rejection, isolation and emotional pressure
    • Denial of access to children
    • House arrest and coercive control
    • No access to the telephone, internet, or ID/Visa documentation

    Should victims do something which is deemed to jeopardise the honour of their family, it could lead to extreme danger for the victim and in some cases death. Perpetrators threaten dangerous consequences resulting in the victim doing exactly what they say regardless of the victim’s consent.

    It is important you get help and support if you feel this is the case and/or you believe someone is at risk of this type of abuse.

    If you or someone you know is at risk of forced marriage or ‘honour’ based abuse please contact the West Midlands Forced Marriage and ‘Honour’ Based Abuse Helpline on 0800 953 9777.

    Support is available 7 days a week and is also available for practitioner’s seeking information and guidance on forced marriage or ‘honour’ based abuse. We also offer outreach support.

    • Forcing someone to obtain some type of labour or sexual exploitation against their will.
    • Modern slavery is exploiting someone for a perpetrator’s own personal gain.
    • Causing injury or harm by bodily contact.
    • Threatening causing injury or harm by bodily contact.
    • Unwanted or forced sexual intercourse/behaviour by a perpetrator to a victim without their consent. This includes performing this type of behaviour in a marriage.
    • Unwanted surveillance and observation by perpetrator.
    • Intimidating and threatening behaviour towards an individual.
    • Harassment – constant calls and wanting to know where you are and badgering you with calls and messages.
    • Perpetrators using technology to control, stalk and isolate victims.
    • This includes constant messaging or keeping a track of what the victim is doing online and keeping a constant track of where the victim is by accessing the victim’s phone location online.
    • Sending abuse over social media or pretending to be someone else when messaging the victim.